Relief at last....

I saw Dr. B last Thursday and had 2cc's removed. I instantly felt better. It feels good to be able to eat again. I have been really good about eating the right foods and not eating a bunch of crap. I would be lying if I said I'm not tempted but I know it's just not worth it. My friend Rhonda introduced me to a new greek yogurt called Chobani (I think that's how you spell it). It has 14 grams of protein and overall it tastes pretty good. I'm not too crazy about the texture but it's a great source of protein so I will suck it up and just eat it.

Lately I have been really questioning this whole lapband thing. On one hand, I feel like I have made some major changes in my life and I have come to terms with my food issues but on the other hand, this is just not what I had expected. I am almost three years out and still seem to have a hard time. Dr. B said that maybe the band is just not for me! What if he's right???? Two lapband surgeries and maybe the band and I are not compatable??? The thought if this makes me sick, I mean really sick to my stomach. How could this happen??? Honestly, this could happen to anyone. It just might be that the band is not the right tool for me. With my first band I did okay in the beginning and then it kind of went down hill from there. I really thought the new band would be so much different and maybe with time it will be. Right now, though, I'm feeling slightly defeated and depressed. My weightloss is at a crawl. I wouldn't be so stressed about my weightloss if I was eating things I shouldn't be but that's not the case at all. In fact, up until last week, I was barely keeping any food down. One would think that the weight would just fall off but that's not the case either. My body goes into starvation mode and this becomes an unfortunate trend. I'm so over all of this and just want it to get a little bit easier, is that too much to ask???

So, what do I do now?? Well, I have come too far to let all of this get me down or hold me back. I just have to pick myself up and keep on moving forward. I am really enjoying the exercising that I have incoporated into my life. I feel like I have more energy and really don't get winded like I use to. Now that I can eat, I am hopefull that the combination of exercise and a healthy diet will be just what I need to kick-start my weightloss. In the meantime, it will be just one day at a time for me because that's about all I can manage right now!!

Helthy wishes to you all,
Jenn

having a hard time...

Things have been pretty rough for me lately. I have been throwing up and getting stuck almost everyday. The thing is I am not abusing my band by eating things that I shouldn't be. It sometimes happens after I eat yogurt or mashed potatos. I need to be unfilled but my health insurance was cancelled because my husband forget to pay it. It's a really long story but until I get it reactivated I'm literally stuck in this miserable situation. These are the times when I really feel like I made a mistake having this surgery in the first place. In reality, I know I made the right decision but I'm just feeling so miserable lately. The only time I feel like I can keep down food is late afternoon or evening and that's even tricky for me! I didn't go to any of the bbq's I was invited to this weekend because I'm afraid to eat. I have started drinking protein shakes because my body needs the nutrients. My weightloss has stalled yet again because I'm not taking in enough calories so it stores the little bit I do get in.

I know this is temporary but it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I don't want to overeat, I just want to be able to eat something, anything, and actually keep it down. I will update soon. I hope you all had a happy and healthy fourth!!!

Jenn