A new year, a new me??? Not so sure about that. I continue to struggle with seeing what everyone else sees, does that make sense?? None the less, life is okay these days! I am married to an amazing man who always makes me feel beautiful no matter what and I must admit, my marriage is the strongest it has ever been. It's funny how I seem to lack confidence in some areas in my life but with my husband I'm so incredibly confident and secure!
Okay, so here's my big issue these days! People magazine always does a huge story this time of the year about people who are "Half my size"!!! So what's my problem with this you may be wondering??? Here's the thing, there's always some sort of statement that these people achieved their weightloss "without surgery"!! While I commend anyone who's able to lose any amount of weight, especially 100 pounds or more without surgery, it frustrates me to no end that it's implied that by having weightloss surgery, you are taking the "easy way out"! Seriously people, are you f-ing kidding me???? There's nothing easy about any kind/type of weightloss surgery. It is simply a tool and all of the issues that got us to being obese don't go away simply because we've had a medical procedure!! In fact, in some ways, surgery is the harder road, especially on an emotional level!! Ugh, I hate that this still upsets me but the reality is, people will always have an opinion but until you walk a mile in my shoes, I don't want to hear it!!
Enough about that! The holidays were pretty quiet in my neck of the woods! I think this is the first year that I didn't feel like I was missing out when it came to eating. I didn't over indulge at all but did allow myself to enjoy an occasional treat from time to time. It has taken me a really long time to get to a good place with food. I'd be lying if I said I never have moments when I want to binge until I vomit (sorry if that's too graphic but it's honest), but I just don't get the same enjoyment from food that I use to. The other night I told my husband that I miss the times when food really made me happy but don't miss the regret that comes after eating far too much! This will always be a challenge but it does get easier with time! I do like being able to go to my closet and not worrying about how something will fit me. I will admit that I am very self-conscious about my "extra skin" so I usually wear a body-shaper under my clothes. The funny thing is the two body-shapers I have are too big and make me look even bulkier but it gives me a sense of security. Yup, I know I have issues!
Whether you are at the very beginning of this journey where you are considering surgery or you are a post-op, I hope this year brings you great health, love, and happiness!!! Don't not hesitate to contact me if there's anything I can to do help you!!!
With love always,
Jenn
