The number I'm talking about is the number on the scale. I have been hearing that a lot lately especially at Heart and Wellness. I understand the reasoning behind it but I have to tell you it's nearly impossible to not get "caught up" with the number. Before my surgery I wouldn't get on the scale if my life depended on it. When I got weighed at the Dr.'s office I got on the scale backwards and told the Dr. that I didn't want to know. After my surgery I became obsessed with weighing myself. I have two scales in my bathroom for goodness sake. If that isn't obsession I don't know what is.
When I first started at Heart and Wellness I have to admit it was really hard. The exercising and group sessions were the easy part it was seeing people who have had the bypass lose twice as much weight as I had. I would often go home feeling defeated. It's a fact that lapbanders lose weight at a much slower pace. All of the research I did support that so it wasn't a total shock when I saw it happening first hand. Of course I was happy for the bypassers and, I'm embarrassed to admit, probably a little jealous. My weightloss average is 1-2 pounds a week and in the beginning it felt like I was never going to lose weight. I'm the type of person who needs instant results in order to feel successful.
So, here I am 22 weeks after my surgery and I have lost 42 pounds. Initially I thought I would have lost over 50 pounds by this point but I have realized that wasn't a realistic expectation. I am so proud of myself for having the courage to take this step in the first place and although it is has been a gradual and challenging process, I feel amazing! I have so much more energy and my self confidence has gone through the roof. I have a physical in a few weeks and I can't wait to see how much my health has improved.
If you were to ask me today if the number on the scale still matters I would honestly say "not so much". I have a new number that I'm focused on and that's the number of years I have added to my life by taking this step. I want to be here when my son graduates from high school. I want to dance with him at his wedding and hold my first grandchild. I feel like I have a second chance at life and I'm going to enjoy every precious moment.....
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