Heart and Wellness

I attended my heart and wellness exercise session yesterday morning. It was actually one of the best classes yet for me. Honestly, I have to admit, it's hard to go every Tuesday morning. Once I'm there I'm fine, it's just the act of getting there that can be a challenge. Anyway, I have really taken a liking to the people in my class. They are funny, caring, kind, open, supportive, honest (I could go on and on). It's the only day of the week that I truly feel comfortable in my own skin. Each one of us has our own story and that's what makes it such a great place to be. I look forward to hearing about everyone's progress and the challenges they have overcome.

I'm trying really hard not to get caught up with how much weight I have lost. Generally people who have lapband surgery lose weight at a much slower rate than people who had gastric bypass.I do have my moments where I wish I had bypass instead of lapband because the weight loss is faster but then I remind myself of why I chose lapband in the first place. This really is a long process and it's different for all of us.

After exercise class we had a group discussion with Maureen about changes after weight loss surgery. It was a great discussion and I value and appreciate everyone's willingness to share their experiences along with the support they offer. Of course we all realize that there are the physical changes that take place after surgery but I under estimated the emotional changes that I would go through. I am having a hard time finding myself in this process. Does that make sense? My weight has become part of my identity for a really long time and though it's sounds strange to admit, it has become my security blanket. I also miss the comfort I use to get from overeating even though it was always a temporary fix. I used food for comfort since I was 9 years old. It's really hard to learn how to work through difficult times without looking to food to make me feel better. I'm working hard to get to a good place with all of this and I know it's going to take time. For now, my goal is to take it one step at a time.