I have never been one to really complain about what's going on. I usually deal with what comes my way and move on. I'm finding that really hard recently and to be honest, feel kind of lost. Please forgive me as this post is pretty personal but I need to share what is going on in my life.
Two weeks ago I was hospitalized with Pneumonia for two days. Not a big deal really, but certainly a surprise. I've never been one to get really sick, nothing more than a common cold. The emergency room doctors were strangely interested in the fact that I had gastric bypass and asked me several questions. My temp was 103.5 and my white blood count was over 20,000. A healthy count is right around 10,000. I knew that I had been pushing it lately, working lots of extra hours and not taking care of myself as well as I should. Anyway, after a few days in the hospital, lots of fluids, and some really strong antibiotics, I was sent home. I wish this was the end of my stress, but it is just the beginning.
My mother, who I have written about before in my blog, is facing a life threatening illness. She recently saw a specialist for some "issues" and had a CAT scan last Friday. Today I got the results and it looks as though she has cancer in several parts of her body. She is having surgery tomorrow morning at Salem Hospital and has no idea just how serious her condition is. I have not stopped crying since earlier and I just don't know how or where to find the strength to help her get through this horrendous situation. My mother has endured so much in her life and really doesn't deserve to go through any of this. Although I'm not overly religiously, I find myself talking to God and asking him to give me her illness. I don't mean to sound like a crazy woman but I would take any of this on if it meant keeping her here with me. My mother is my world! We talk 4 - 5 times a day and I honestly can't imagine a single second of my life without her! I often joke and say we are like peanut butter and Jelly, alone we are okay but together we make an amazing sandwich.
On-top of all of this, I was offered an amazing job opportunity today! It's a once in a life-time offer. I should be on top of the world but I'm so conflicted, and frankly, unable to make a decision right now. I feel like this a cruel joke. On one hand I have been giving an opportunity of a lifetime and on the other, a real possibility of losing the one woman who means the world to me! This really sucks.....
Tonight I ask you all to please say a prayer for my mom! Please pray that no matter what the out-come, she doesn't have to be in pain or suffer....
Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!!!
Jen
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